My friend Emily has three amazingly well-behaved children. They put their toys away when she tells them to, go to bed without a fuss, and even settle their own disputes. I actually witnessed her 3-year-old son calmly ask for a truck back from a friend who had yanked it out of his hands.
Emily admits that her children have their moments — “They are kids, after all!” — but says that real discipline challenges are few and far between. “What’s your secret?” I once asked, hoping she could impart some much-needed wisdom. “Threatening them with punishment? Giving them time-outs? Bribing them with Oreos?” Emily shook her head. “Nothing like that,” she told me. “If I’ve done anything right, it’s that I’ve made it clear from the get-go what I expect from them. Now, all I have to do is shoot them a look, and they know to discipline themselves.” Continue reading